choose your own adventure

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You know what’s great about not having a “regular” job? The flexibility. You know what’s super overwhelming? Flexibility.

Pretty much every day I have a long stretch of time without any plans. Hours that can be filled however I want. There are things that need doing: grocery shopping, work, meals, dishes, emails, diaper changes, exercise, laundry… But most of those things don’t need to happen at a specific time. I can work out in the morning or in the afternoon. We can go to the park whenever. Willa can nap at noon or 1:30. The grocery store is open all day.

This whole stay-at-home/work part-time thing has been tough for me to master. It’s a work in progress. Before Cameron, I felt like I sort of had things down. We’d go out and do something in the morning, and then come home for lunch and naptime. Even if we didn’t get out the door first thing, we still had time to do something. But now, Cameron naps mid-morning and so it sometimes feels like I’m being held hostage in the house with my almost-three year old. Good times. Notsomuch.

This summer, I need to figure out a bit more of a schedule. I need to be the driver of our time. It is wonderful to be able to design our days just how we want them, but it’s not without challenges. Sometimes it feels like the day slips away from me. I’m totally okay with staying home and not doing much, but I want it to be an intentional choice.

Here some reminders for myself as I work to achieve a more scheduled life that balances work and play. Maybe you have some pointers too?

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Have a plan. So simple. So obvious. Yet hard to execute. The days we have a plan and somewhere to be at a certain time, we get ourselves there. The days that are open-ended are when we sometimes get a bit cranky. Even when I don’t have an obligation or scheduled meet-up with a friend, it helps immensely if I make my own schedule ahead of time. I’m working on a “bucket list” for the summer to make sure we get to all the things I want to do.

Make use of small blocks of time. Don’t underestimate the short or simple outing. Everyone’s mood gets so much better with a little fresh air and stimulation from the outside world. But, I tend to overestimate how much time it takes to do things, so often I don’t go somewhere because I don’t think there’s enough time. It’s good to remember that a quick outing can be quite restorative, so squeeze something in between naps or whenever you can!

Ditch the schedule. But only sometimes. My kids like to nap in their beds. I’m not sure if it’s their nature or something we’ve fostered, but they don’t sleep very well in strollers, carseats, etc. As a result, I have a love-hate relationship with naptime. I love the break it gives me but I sometimes hate having to be home for it to happen. It’s good to throw naptime to the wind occasionally. This lets you have the whole day to do whatever you want. Sometimes this totally backfires and you’ve got meltdown madness on your hands. But usually everyone adjusts. It’s important for everyone to learn/remember to be flexible.

Do things you enjoy doing. Since becoming a mom, particularly a mom who is primarily at home, I’ve felt a lot of pressure to do certain activities. “Kid-friendly” things. Many of those things are a lot of fun. But some of them aren’t. At least not for me. But what I want to do is constantly changing. There are things that sound fun today that last year I swore I’d never do. I try to remind myself that there are many ways to raise kids, and children can benefit from a wide range of experiences, so it’s okay to just do what you want to do.

Be gentle with yourself. I’m working on this one. I try not to stress too much if I forget something or am a bit late to meet someone. I do the best I can, but things are hard enough without beating myself up. Yes, I try to remember the sunscreen. But if I forget it, we’ll find some shade and everyone will be okay.

Use television strategically and sparingly. I don’t have a real issue with kids watching TV, and I certainly make full use of our Netflix subscribtion. However, I’ve noticed that the more shows Willa watches, the grumpier she is afterwards. With summer coming, I need to remember that playing outside is much better for everyone. I want to try to limit our “screen time” (mine too!). I hope to reserve shows and movies for times we can cozy up on the couch together to enjoy the experience.

Slow down. As much as I enjoy doing things, it can be equally important and beneficial to stay at home or to just walk around the block aimlessly. I can be nice to just let the day unfold as it will. Some of the best memories can be made when you aren’t trying too hard.

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